Fool Me Once by, Ava S.

I look myself up and down in my mom’s bathroom mirror. I slick up my hair one last time, adjust my tie, and give myself a quick, teasing wink and I think I’m ready to go. My hands are sweating like crazy as I tie up the laces on my reebok shoes that have the sole falling off and one of my toes is about to burst through the top. I got the shoes from my older brother Zeke around a year ago because he said that they were “lame” which is an adjective he seems to describe me as quite often. But, his loss, I thought the shoes were pretty spiffy. I swiftly run back upstairs just to make sure I still looked alright, because this is the biggest day of my life so far and frankly I’m a bit nervous. I am going on my first date ever! Yes, I might be 17, and I realize that sounds pretty nerdy, because it is. Simplifying algebraic equations and anagramming everything has taken so much of my time, I haven’t had too much time to focus on my social life. Until today I’ve only had one friend throughout my entire childhood, Trishar, and since he moved back to India, I’ve been feeling a little lonely, and my loneliness has been exponentially expanding since that point. I have it graphed out, but I won’t try to explain it right now, because that is not the point of the story. So, anyways, this date tonight means a lot.

“Cameron, are you upstairs with your shoes on?” I hear my mom shout from the kitchen table.

“No…” I say, nervously, as I whip off my shoes so there’s no evidence of my guilt-ridden footsteps. I feel remorseful lying to my mother, I never lie to my mother, only little white lies. To tell my mom a lie makes me feel so scandalous, because I know she tries her very best to never lie to me. She is the only person who has stuck with me all my life and even supported me after I misspelled the word sesquipedalian at the world spelling bee. Even when I was little I told her everything, even when I spilled my milk bottle on her favorite designer dress. If I’m being candid, I’d say my mom is my best friend besides Cally, my calculator.

I walk back downstairs and look at my phone, a text from Addison pops up saying “here.” I fly down my stairs and out the door and yell a “Goodbye.” as I’m running out the front door as fast as Santa’s sleigh on Christmas night. Then I stopped abruptly, like my legs had gone numb, or like they weren’t there at all. And a single, unheard of thought popped into my head, why would one of the cutest girls in the grade choose me, a nerdy, obnoxious, freckled boy with red glasses. I certainly was not a treat for the eyes, or for the mind. I shrugged off the thought, keeping up my confidence and self esteem so I could have the courage to walk into Addison’s sleek SUV.

I step into the car with a swagger I had learned to perfect after watching countless videos on how to flirt.

“H-h-h-hi Addie.” I say followed by a quirky smile.

“Hello Cameron.” Addison says with a giggle that sounds almost mocking, but not quite.

We mostly sit in silence on the drive to Uncle Mike’s BBQ. I lounge in the leather seat contemplating all the possible ways I could make a fool of myself on this date, one being getting barbecue sauce on my clothes or even on my nose. I have an odd tendency to get food stuck on my nose. When we finally pull into the parking lot of the restaurant I hop out of the car swiftly so I can open her door for her, but I end up tripping over a pebble in my haste.

“Cameron, you big goof!” I whisper to myself in a not so quiet voice. I can hear Addie laughing her pants off in the front seat of the car. I can’t believe after all the pep talks from my mom that I wouldn’t make a fool of myself I had already tumbled onto the concrete, wrinkling my freshly ironed slacks.

We walk into the restaurant and get our seats without any more blunders, and minimal awkward silences. We end up having to wait around 25 minutes for our food to arrive, and those slow, agonizing minutes consisted of me trying to make jokes about science, but all of them going over her head, and Addison laughing to herself and texting people on her phone. I could already tell that I am failing at my first date. When the food arrives, I thank the lords for finally having an excuse for the dragging silence. To sit through another second of that deathly silence might have literally killed me.

After eating for a bit Addison hastily sets down her fork on her napkin and looked up into my eyes.

“Okay, Cameron, I can’t do this any longer, I have to tell you the truth. I only asked you out onto this date as a joke, I don’t actually like you in that way, or, in fact any way at all. I think you’re disgusting and I swear I almost threw up when you touched your booger infested hand on my car. I can’t believe you actually fell for this oh my God. What were you thinking, me, the prettiest girl in the school wanting to date a humongous loser like you, ew.”

I drop my spoon onto the floor, eyes tearing up. To save myself from another second of being bashed by my crush I get out of my chair, knocking it backwards in the process, and sprinting out of the restaurant, tears spewing down my face.

I end up running all the way back to my house on the throbbing pain and anger that has given every molecule in my body a complete rush of energy. My feet feel like iron when I finally arrive at my house because I can barely lift them up. I haven’t been this sore since I ran my elementary school’s 5K in the 4th grade. As you might be able to tell I’m not that athletic. I stand outside my house for a couple minutes just panting like a dog who just ran a marathon. I’m contemplating how to tell my mom why I’m home so early. I ponder lying and saying that she just wasn’t my type and acting all cool, but I know she’d see right through it since I’ve been globbering over Addie since freshman year. I finally decide to just tell her the truth, because I know she’ll still love me even though I am a complete nerd. I mean, she has to, she’s my mom! I walk into my house, head hanging low in shame.

“Hi honey, why are you home so early, did something happen?”

Hearing those words broke my last straw and I burst into sobs, again, as I bolted into my mom’s arms.

“Oh honey, what happened?”

“She doesn’t like me mom, it was all a big joke between her and her evil friends.” I say between tears.

My mom suddenly turns from sympathetic to angry in the blink of an eye.

“It was WHAT.” my mom screams, certainly waking up my cat from upstairs.

“A joke…”

“Get up honey and grab a bat and some toilet paper, we’re taking a little trip.” My mom says whilst almost shoving me off her lap and pushing me down the stairs into the basement to grab our supplies.

The next few moments of my life are a blur of my mom screaming at the top of her lungs and driving way past the speed limit, and then smashing Addison’s car’s windows from her driveway and throwing toilet paper and eggs all over her mansion. I whisper for her to stop, because I knew Addie would know it was me who ruined her car, and having Addison hate me would be a social suicide, but it’s not like I had a social life anyway, but I really didn’t want her to stop, because the revenge felt so sweet. Soon enough, I end up slashing her tires and throwing an egg right onto her window whilst screaming, “I’m a loser, baby. Fool me once.” For a few moments I feel so happy and completely encased in the rush of revenge. But Addison’s mom piercing voice saying, “I’m calling the police.” snaps me right out of it. Going even faster than when we were driving there my mom and I drive away, and in that moment I have never felt closer to my mom.

“Thank you.” I whisper to my mom.

“Anytime.”